Exhale

December 13, 2012

Christmas tree

Here I sit at 9:30 on a Thursday night. Folding the last of the day’s laundry by the light of the Christmas tree, Lana drifting off to sleep on the couch beside me. Her snuffles and grunts on the pacifier are slowly becoming quieter the closer she gets to the night’s slumber. Not that folding laundry is a particularly sentimental activity, it just happened to be what I was doing when the mood to type struck. I don’t mind it either. I’d much rather be folding laundry than ironing. Bleh. And have you ever folded size 2T/3T underwear? The fact that they even make butts that tiny is hysterical enough to make the activity almost enjoyable.

Della has just gone to bed and fortunately didn’t pull another round of crying as soon as I shut the door. That’s been her trick lately. Well, that and throwing a crying/whining fit before bed to try and avoid it all together. “Me sit Mama baby.” No, you already sat with Mama and Baby Lana. “Me sit Dada.” (increasingly whiny and teary) No, you already sat with Dada. “Me watch Do-do” (a.k.a Dora) Hell no, child. It’s bedtime.

I did just hear a thunk against the wall, though, which usually means she’s out and has rolled over to knock one of her million stuffed toys into the wall next to her bed. It’s probably the light-up ladybug that projects stars and the moon onto the ceiling and walls, which is her new favorite. A gift from one of Ryan’s cousins for Lana actually, but D has commandeered it until L needs it. Which, my guess is, will be never, or at least until D gives it up willingly. So, never.

This has been a week for the record books around here. All 4 of us have been simultaneously sick. Urg. It started last weekend, when both Ryan and I felt the early twinges of sore throats and headaches. Fortunately mine progressed from there, as it usually does, into just a full-blown head cold. Unfortunately Ryan and D bore the brunt. Ryan has been home sick the past 2 days, which I think is a record for him, with fever, aches, chills/sweats, all over nasty. D barfed Monday and yesterday, but now seems to be on the mend with just the remnants of a runny nose left so far. We’ll see what tomorrow brings, however. L has gotten super congested again, but thankfully I think that is the extent of her cold. I hate when infants get sick, because what can you really do for them?

So we are anxiously awaiting the return of health within our walls. Needless to say moods will be improved all around when it comes. Not that we’ve been mean to each other, but being in the throes of the flu doesn’t really lend itself to robust conversation. Grunts and phrases have been our main modes of communication this week. Fortunately Ryan was feeling better today than yesterday and was able to help me take care of the tinies, but he’s still struggling and going to bed well before either of their bedtimes. So it again falls to me to get them ready and asleep, then finish up everything I need to do around the house. At least I was able to eat dinner before 10:00 tonight.

I do still need to clean up the kitchen. I actually cooked dinner tonight! It was a slow cooker beef bourguignon over egg noodles, which I thought was pretty good. Ryan said it was bland, but whatever. See, moods need to improve soon.

Right now, though, I think I’ll get L into her crib. Before she was born, I read a very helpful newborn trick for cold weather babies – put a heating pad in their crib to warm it up before you lay them down (remove it when they go in there, obviously), and they won’t be awakened so much by their head hitting a cold sheet. So far it’s worked wonders for L. She almost never wakes when I put her in there at bedtime or after her nightly feedings. And fortunately she doesn’t need this pacifier anymore once she’s asleep. She does get a little frantic looking for it when it falls out before she’s totally out, but once the eyelids have drooped for the last time she doesn’t need it to stay asleep or need it put back in if she wakes in the night. Hallelujah. That was one game I was completely unwilling to play – find and replace the pacifier. No way.

I know I should go to bed immediately once the kids are asleep, but these night time hours when I have the house to myself (who am i kidding – i mean the tv to myself) and everyone else is quiet are when I can get “me” stuff done – work on L’s baby book, clean up whatever messes have been left from the day, eat if I haven’t gotten around to it at regular meal times during the day (which is almost always these days), breathe. They help remind me that these peaceful times far outweigh the bad ones in this crazy, exhilarating, frightening, amazing thing we call parenthood. They help remind me why we are not one of the species who eats their young, but rather one who loves and embraces the next generation we have bred. For these tinies right here are going to grow up to be wonders. Our wonders.

See, just look at that face. A precious person in the making…

L

 

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Bad day

December 7, 2012

I feel like a complete and utter failure. It’s mid-day and I’ve yelled at Della more than once. I’ve put her in bed with no lunch because she refused to do the simplest of tasks and repeatedly screamed “No!” in my face. That obviously didn’t work as she screamed and flailed at me even more, so she finally got her lunch another half hour later after doing what I’d asked her long before. Then she started screaming again as I cleaned her up after lunch when I told her she couldn’t watch tv but had to take her nap. Why? Why so awful?

Lana has been piercing my eardrums with her siren wail all morning. And her simultaneous poopsplosion and 4 wave tsunami barf added one more bath to the to-do list today.

The fact that I still have to unload the dishwasher, finish up the two loads of laundry waiting downstairs, bake, go to the grocery store, and wrap presents does not add to my overall demeanor either. Why? What is it about today that needed to be so bad?

I feel ashamed and unhappy. I hate raising my voice and being mad at my children; that’s not right. But I guess almost 7 weeks with 2 of them was my breaking point. And just when I thought things were going so well and I’d gotten the hang of this motherhood thing.

 

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Through your eyes

December 5, 2012

Through your eyes it is simply incredible to see

Just how amazing and wondrous this big world can be.

Through your eyes it’s all new, it’s fun, and you grow every day;

From the things that you do to the words that you say.

You’re a big sister, my helper, and a wonderful kid;

Certainly one of the best things your dad and I ever did.

Through your eyes in this season, the holiday time of year,

The magic all comes alive with Santa and his reindeer.

You light up at their mention and you squeal, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

There’s no end to the places with your beautiful mind you can go.

Through your eyes the world is fine and happy and bright,

And my heart swells when I watch your sparkle and light.

You watch and you try and you learn and you play,

And I burst with pride as I see you finding your way.

Through your eyes I can see it all happen again;

This journey of life on which I have been.

There is so much out there for you to see and do,

And along the way I hope you’ll be as proud of me as I already am of you.

Through your eyes I’m your mama and your guiding light.

I hope and I pray that I do this all right.

You’re my heart and my soul; you mean the world to me.

Through your eyes I hope you always see the good, my sweet Della Jolee.

 

 

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6 weeks

December 3, 2012

Lana turned 6 weeks old yesterday, and I thought I’d give you a peek into how I’m doing 6 weeks postpartum. Weight:  Down 30 lbs. so far. I started at 149.5, gained 36 lbs. to 185.5, and was back down to 155.5 yesterday morning. So 6 more lbs. to go until I reach my prepregnancy [...]

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1 month stats

November 27, 2012

Lana turned 1 month old on November 21, but we didn’t have her 1 month checkup until yesterday. So here’s how month 1 has gone… Weight: 10 lbs. 3.5 oz. (75%) {7 lbs. 7 oz. at birth; 7 lbs. 8.25 oz. at 4 day old checkup (50%)} Height: 21.5″ (50%) {19.5″ at birth; 20.5″ at [...]

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Thankful

November 22, 2012

Thank you… thank you… thank you!! I have so very much for which to be thankful today and always. Happy Thanksgiving!    

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Big sis

November 20, 2012

Lest anyone think Della has been forgotten around here, let me assure you she has not. We’re just busy giving potty training a try, and at the risk of jinxing our toilet mojo, she has been doing fantastic. Granted today was only day 2, but she has been wearing full on underwear both days so [...]

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Memories Captured – November edition

November 16, 2012

   

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The Life of L

November 14, 2012

As you may have noticed, I added a new page up top – “The Life of L”. Just like “The D Daily Dose” is for Della, it will be a journal-type entry page for Lana’s life. Unlike Della’s page, however, I plan to use Lana’s more for statistical stuff rather a daily (or weekly, monthly, [...]

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Looking back

November 13, 2012

I meant to write this post before Lana was born while I was still pregnant, but, oops. I basically just wanted to take a minute to look back on this pregnancy and remind myself how it compared to my first one: Symptoms were a little different, appeared sooner, and seemed to be more pronounced. I [...]

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